South Riddled with Potential Geezers
Certified Geezer TimBob says he was transplanted to one
of our southern states long ago and loves it, but nevertheless remains agog at the
apparently indigenous "Redneck Technology" that he stumbles across. He offers
up 17 (!) pieces of evidence below. If we can get names, we've most definitely
got 17 new members of the Geezerhood.
IN MEMORIAM
Peter Falk
1927–2011
Despite a long career on the stage, in movies and on television, it was one line that made Peter Falk famous as the rumpled detective Columbo – Just one more thing. That's even the name of his autobiography. His repeatecly outsmarting the "smart guys" has made him an Honorary Geezer.
HeadGeezer.com Stirs Up Hate in Kansas
The Head Geezerette recently spotted this sign in Topeka,
Kansas. We aren't quite sure what qualified us for these folks' hate list,
but, since this entire country is also on their list, we can only conclude we're
in good company.
NOTE: We're
also mystified as to why the Head Geezerette was even in Kansas, much less
Topeka. Research is ongoing.
Mr. Jackson flunks Geezerhood admission cold suggests Certified Geezer
OldJetDriver. We have to agree, but apparently that is the least of his problems at the moment.
Certified Geezer
Mach3Plus reports that there's a
new roller coaster named "Top Thrill Dragster" at the Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky,
Ohio. Apparently there are some hazards associated with riding this bad boy.
There's a link below that has some documentation of that fact.
Click
HERE for an important warning.
Repairing your sneakers or your truck with plain old duct
tape doesn't exactly qualify you as a fashion trendsetter, right? Consider switching
to 3M's new
transparent duct tape. It's said to be even stickier than
the usual stuff, but less likely to stick to itself somehow. It might also
be handy for sealing up a drafty window frame or making a temporary repair on the
glass itself. We couldn't help but make it
Geezer Approved™.
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To see all of our
Geezer Approved™
products, just click on the
Geezer Approved™
seal.
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Bonanza is second only to
Gunsmoke as TV's longest running western. If you tuned in on Sunday nights, you can answer the following:
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What was the name of the sheriff in Virginia City?
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What was Hoss Cartwright's given first name?
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What was the name of the Cartwrights' houseboy?
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The answers aren't on the Ponderosa. They're near the end of this GeezerGram™.
All of these websites have been perpetrated by Certified
Geezers, for fun, for profit or for both. We've checked 'em out and they are
all Geezer Approved™.
Now it's your turn . . .
Do you mean to say that you're
not a Certified Geezer and
merely found your way to this GeezerGram™ by "Gurgling" or because an alleged
friend told you about it? Just provide us with the GeezerName (screen name)
by which you'd like to be known and your email address. You'll be notified
whenever a new edition escapes our custody. You'll also receive a certificate
attesting to your Geezerhood and become eligible for our program of outright bribery.
It's a no lose proposition!
Just click the button.
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CLICK ON A Date TO REVIEW
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June 7
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Junior Geezer Demonstrates The Force
IN MEMORIAM: James Arness
Geezerhood Candidates Put on Hold
POINT TO PONDER: Transportation Napkin
BONUS!: Coffee Media
SHAMELESS PLUG: Cabela's Super Tanker Lighter
FREEBIE!: Google Earth
GeezerQuiz: The Dirty Dozen
SOUNDTRACK: If I Can't Have You
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March 28
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Geezer Goes Small, Wins Big
Snow Fails To Stop Geezer
POINT TO PONDER: The Truly Dedicated Employee
BONUS!: Billboard Recycled
SHAMELESS PLUG: Gerber E-Tool
GeezerQuiz: All in the Family
SOUNDTRACK: Runaway
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January 27
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How Not To Move a House
IN MEMORIAM: Jack LaLanne
Music Step by Step
POINT TO PONDER: Twilight Obsession
BONUS!: Batmobile History
SHAMELESS PLUG: Gorilla Wheel Locks
FREEBIE!: CintaNotes
GeezerQuiz: The Wizard of Oz
SOUNDTRACK: It Ain't Me Babe
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January 6
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'Village Person' Leaves YMCA for Geezerhood
Designer 'enters' Geezerhood
POINT TO PONDER: Rolls Royce Engine Fix
BONUS!: Ferrari After the Storm
SHAMELESS PLUG: Fridge/Warmer
FREEBIE!: Chrome Laptop
GeezerQuiz: The Six Million Dollar Man
SOUNDTRACK: On the Rebound
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December 8
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Aussies Skate into Geezerhood
IN MEMORIAM: Leslie Nielsen
Farmer 'Bales', Lands in Geezerhood
POINT TO PONDER: 'Benched' Players
BONUS!: The Best Ford Commercial Ever
SHAMELESS PLUG: Nelson High Flow Industrial Nozzle
FREEBIE!: NK2Edit
GeezerQuiz:
The Three Stooges
SOUNDTRACK: You Were on My Mind
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November 21
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Geezerhood Denied to Clown
Wile E. Stomps Bird, Grabs Geezerhood!
POINT TO PONDER: An Italian President?
BONUS!: Larcenous Birds
SHAMELESS PLUG: Clean Bottles
FREEBIE!: Revo Uninstaller
GeezerQuiz: The Streets of San Francisco
SOUNDTRACK: Somethin' 'Bout 'Cha
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November 9
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Texan 'Picks Up' Geezerhood
Candidates Avoid Truth (Again)
POINT TO PONDER: Retirement Time Clue
BONUS!: Artistic Lattes
SHAMELESS PLUG: Herbaria Soaps
FREEBIE!: TechTracker
GeezerQuiz: Jaws
SOUNDTRACK: Can't Fight This Feeling
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November 1
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Canada Post Named to Corporate Geezerhood
IN MEMORIAM: Tom Bosley
Geezer Makes Room at the Table
POINT TO PONDER: Ensuring Pizza Delivery
BONUS!: Strange Shopping Bags
SHAMELESS PLUG: Transforming Solar Robot
FREEBIE!: Miro
GeezerQuiz: Tremors
SOUNDTRACK: Love Train
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Saddle up!
The long arm of the law in Virginia City belonged to Sheriff
Roy Coffey, while Hoss tried not to answer to the name
Eric. The Cartwright household was presided over by
Hop Sing.
You can return to the Ponderosa by clicking on the DVD.
Quote/Unquote
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
—Steven Wright